Sitting tall and leaning in

A brilliant woman in STEM recently told me:

"I know my ideas are good, but in meetings, I hesitate. By the time I find the right words, someone else has already said it."

She’s not alone. Many introverted, soft-spoken, or ESL professionals struggle with this.

I’ve been there myself. Carefully weighing my words, measuring the room before speaking. In the early days of my career, I would systematically volunteer to be the note-taker. I take good notes, and it felt like a way to contribute without actually speaking up.

No.

That wasn’t the way forward.

The thing is, it’s not about lacking expertise—it’s about confidence in the moment. Trusting our voice enough to use it. And not worrying so much about the perfect expression.


So, how can you break the cycle of hesitation?

🔸 Own your space before you speak 🔸

Sheryl Sandberg famously encouraged women to “take a seat at the table” in her best-selling book, "Lean In".

Yes, it’s about *physically* sitting at the table—and it’s about *feeling* on a level with the people in the room. And that starts before you even open your mouth.

A simple shift that helps:

🌀 Sit tall. Posture affects presence. When you take up space physically, it sends a signal (to others and to yourself) that your voice belongs.

🌀 Give yourself a moment. As the previous person finishes, take a slow breath in. Then speak on the out-breath. That naturally grounds your voice.

🌀 Use a simple phrase to enter the conversation. Instead of waiting for the perfect words, start with:

"I’d like to add something here…"
"Building on that idea…"
"One thing to consider is…"

These phrases buy you a few extra seconds while conveying confidence. The more you use them, the easier it gets.

You don’t have to be the loudest in the room.

You just need to step in.

Because your voice matters. And the room needs *your* unique perspective.


What strategies do you use to step in, and make yourself heard?

Photo by Asha Taylor on Unsplash