Creating the safety to grow

I’ll never forget my first performance review.

My manager suggested we have it over lunch. Casual. Friendly.

Then he fished an envelope out of his back pocket and said, “I jotted a few thoughts down on the train.”

And there, over salad and breadsticks, he told me my writing wasn’t strong.

Ouch! That stung.

My writing was something I’d always been proud of.

He shared positive feedback too, but it didn’t land. I was too shaken by the first part to take in the rest.

Looking back, I realise it wasn’t just the message. It was the moment. The setting. The delivery. The absence of empathy.

Feedback has the power to open us up… or shut us down.

Today, helping people give and receive feedback with care is at the heart of my work as a public speaking coach and facilitator.

In my sessions, we practice:

🌀Speaking up
🌀Sharing - and receiving - feedback
🌀Integrating the feedback
🌀Speaking again.

Not from a place of judgement. But from a place of learning.

It’s not about getting it perfect. It’s about creating the safety to grow.

Because feedback, when offered and received with empathy, is a hugely powerful tool.


What piece of feedback changed you, for better or worse?

Photo by Estonia Incorporated on Unsplash